Imperfections. Flaws. Mistakes. Weaknesses. Doubts. These are all part of being human. Not a single person on this earth is without these struggles. Today I’m going to share my flaws with you. Why? Because I’m tired of hiding and I’m tired of making the same mistakes over again. And also because I know there must be others out there who have similar struggles that can relate, and I’ve always tried to be as open as possible about my journey.
So what’s been going on?
The short version is that I’ve been a little stuck. Stuck being lazy and making excuses, stuck in bad habits, stuck in not being the best version of myself health-wise. I’ve felt sorry for myself and blamed my ailments, I’ve lacked motivation, and I’ve been more talk than action. Basically, I’ve been a victim. I have to be honest… it hurts to admit that. I’m ashamed of it. But I need to own it, accept it, and move on so I can change my situation. So there it is. Self-sabotage at it’s finest.
I went to a leadership seminar this weekend, put on by the Team Beachbody Raleigh Market Council, and it really opened my eyes to my situation. I’m planning to do a whole post on the seminar itself so I won’t get into that too much here… but we talked a lot about loving yourself, overcoming self-limiting beliefs, and how your attitude can influence your life. Trust me, when you hear the story about a man born without limbs turning his life around… it really puts things in perspective.
So back to that whole victim thing. Yeah, I’m sick of that. I’m sick of letting myself down. I’m tired of feeling like crap and not feeling good about myself. I’m done half-assing this. I want to succeed. I want to look in the mirror and be proud of myself. I want to feel empowered and confident and happy and energized and alive. I want to be stronger than my excuses. I want to set a good example for my team. But most of all, I want to love myself fully. Radical self-love is a new term I heard recently and I kinda dig it.
I’m still on my journey.
I may have taken a bit of a detour, but I’m getting back on the right path. I know what I need to succeed: consistency, support and accountability, and will power. I need to eliminate temptations and obstacles and commit to myself. I also need to think bigger – especially when it gets hard – to remember my “why” and the reason I want to achieve my health goals. That’s what motivates me. Luckily, I have an amazing, supportive boyfriend, family and friends, and a team behind me to help me succeed. I haven’t given anyone much of a reason to believe in me lately, but I intend to change that. I know I’m capable of it, I know I’m strong enough. I just have to overcome some obstacles…
I have been drinking my Shakeology pretty consistently, so that’s one good thing. But in terms of working out, I think I’m going to go back to what I know works for me, what I can stick with and commit to… the 21 Day Fix. This was my first ever Beachbody program (and to be honest, the only one I’ve actually completed in its entirety). I loved it then and I still love it now. I’ll also incorporate running, spinning, yoga and group fitness classes to take advantage of my free YMCA membership (and the outdoors since it’s already warming up here in NC). I’m also going to try morning workouts (gasp!). We’ll see how that goes. The starting is the hardest part. Once I start, I finally begin to enjoy fitness and being healthy. I stop missing the junky food and I feel so much better. So here’s to starting, sticking with it, and succeeding!
(Also, it feels really, really good to write again!)